A Young Life & End of Life

We made it down to LA last Thursday the 12th. Lots of road tripping for us. Mia again developed a little diaper rash from being holed up in the Britax, but all in all, it wasn't a terrible road trip. We left around naptime and Mia slept for two hours. We made it to Agoura Hills in time to have dinner with Papa's sister Sophia who was there on business. It was a special treat to see her since the last time was last October. Aunty Sophia spoiled Mia Elmo toys. She was in heaven.

After dinner, we headed into the LA traffic to see my Gong-Gong or grandpa who is in the hospital. He enjoyed seeing Mia who was shy and anxious at first. Now that she has seen him for three days in a row, she happily blows kisses, waves and "performs" for him. Gong-Gong is amazingly alert, but his lung cancer has spread and the pneumonia is no longer the primary reason for his labored breathing. It's the cancer. He looked pretty weak, but the following day, he looked even worse and was put on a Bipap machine instead of a regular O2 mask. This machine pumps O2 with pressure so that even with shallow breaths that he takes, he will get enough O2. Not a long-term solution, so the family had a meeting to decide how to proceed. Our family like most Asian American families does not handle such end-of-life issues very openly and it is customary to not let the dying elderly in on what's going on. After some discussion, everyone agreed that it was best to let my grandpa know that the cancer had spread and that he was not going to improve. Up until today, no one had told him that his cancer had spread. Not a way to die with dignity. But I realize that I have a very Western perspective on death and dying that rubs against the "old ways." Some family members felt that protecting him from suffering also means protecting him from the truth--knowing that he is going to die. But everyone dies. It's not to be feared. But some of my familyl members are not Christians and they fear death.

Anyhow, Gong Gong did not want a feeding tube (can't eat with the Bipap) or intubation, he agreed to be made comfortable. Then he asked to be baptized which is an amazing testimony to the power of prayer and God's ability to change people's hearts. Around the time of my Pua Pua's death, Gong Gong had already accepted Christ. My mom's pastor came this evening an the whole lot of us were around his bedside as he received his baptism. It was a just a lovely scene and I believe my grandpa was filled with joy that only comes from the Lord. We took some photos of his baptism, but I didn't bring my ScanDisk on the trip so I'll have to post them later. We are not sure how much longer my gramps has, but I think everyone is relieved that the truth is out and that he was able to make his own decision about the end of his life. It seemed that a weight had been lifted. I am glad he can die with dignity though it sounds cliche. In our family, a lot of "truth hiding", a euphemism for lying, goes on when it comes to the elderly. My paternal grandmother never was told that my father died even though she outlived him for more than 10 years. My grandmother was not told that her brother died. While it was all done with the best intentions, it's not a way to treat people with respect. I could go on, but I'll stop here.

Update on Wa-Wa
Sadly, I did not get a chance to repair her before our trip to LA. When I finally located my sewing materials, Wa-Wa's arm went missing. I last left it on the couch next to Wa-Wa, but the next time I looked over it was gone! I think Kona took it and hid it somewhere. We were in a rush to leave for LA, so I will have to do a search and rescue operation when we return. We did find back-up Wa-Wa so Mia's asleep with her now.